I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
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Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
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We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.