There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...