id be glad to
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize