I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.