i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.