they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.