I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.