Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
