Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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