i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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