I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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