Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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