Nicole vs. Life
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.