yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice