by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?