problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.