So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
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How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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