seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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