Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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