In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
