I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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