I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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