I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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