We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.