yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.