I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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