Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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