I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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