Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize