farters have to be the big spoon...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
