come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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