hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
