he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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