i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"