so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
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you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
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oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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