I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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