I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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