Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize