used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Houston, we have a blender
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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