It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
