we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
