I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
