So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
A+ Viking dick
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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