Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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