Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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