worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
