watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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