Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize