yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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