I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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