Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Randomize