I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize