Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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