Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize