I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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