So drunk its hurt
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
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I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
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Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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