hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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