I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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